Let’s Talk About… Beauty & Confidence

Last week, I spoke at a benefit for Bottomless Closet (called Smart & Sexy Day) on behalf of The Women’s Alliance in honor of Women’s History Month.

mint-blazer

… I know, that’s a mouthful — I hope you’ve had your coffee.

The event was aimed at helping low-income women prepare to re-enter the workforce. My role was to talk beauty basics, provide style tips and aid in boosting self-confidence so that those in attendance would walk away feeling self-assured, eager and employable. Or, on a more basic level – to encourage them look and feel their best.

Now, a story:

pastel-blazer

On the morning of March 13, I was ready. I’d spent the entire week prior preparing, I wasn’t late upon arrival at the venue and I even had time to iron my blouse. (All of these things are a rarity, admittedly — especially in tandem.)

As I sat, sipped my coffee and listened intently to the first presentation of the morning, I realized in horror that the entire hour was devoted to preaching and teaching a more traditional dressing route – neutral slacks, pantyhose, avoiding patterns, and absolutely “no colored shoes.”

The audience nodded intently. I gnawed on my cuticles.

Well, f-k. Guess what I was wearing?

emerald-pastel-outfit

This ensemble, but with black pants: A striped blazer, colorful floral blouse and — per usual — matching neon shoes. (I almost went with the outfit in today’s post, but changed my mind last-minute.)

This type of talk is to be expected, I suppose, but it was right before my speech. Me, the “Tryer of Trends” and resident Fashion Blogger. Accordingly, I’m a walking “Don’t!”

I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I couldn’t ramble off my agenda of print-mixing and preach the art of a subtle statement shoe. And my gut wasn’t telling me anything but the fact that I should’ve eased up on the pastry buffet.

I stood up, made my way to the podium, grabbed the mic and tossed my speech in the trash.

“Hi, I’m Hallie. And I have a lot of explaining to do,” I began. They laughed.

bauble-bar-lucite-necklace

The next 30 minutes transformed into dialogue — a discussion on how today’s slow-to-rebound economy can prove difficult for all of us. Combine that with not having the right outfit to make a great first impression at an interview and it can create impossibly paralyzing barriers. (This is why Bottomless Closet is such a fantastic organization!)

I was surprised at how seemingly foundational the questions being asked were.

“How do I wear make-up?” One woman (with pretty porcelain skin) said.

“I hate my eyelashes,” said another. “And can I wear color?”

As I stood in front of these women and swallowed back anxiety over my own personal image issues, it dawned on me that there’s a deeper business of beauty and confidence that we hadn’t yet tapped into.

pastel-colored-blazer

You can’t apply beauty. It’s not something you buy or acquire or consume – it’s something you have to be. You can’t rely on your style or your looks to sustain you — what’s fundamentally beautiful is grace and compassion for yourself and those around you.

I know it’s super-cheesy and you’ve heard it before in some way or another, but that’s what hugs the heart, fills your soul and validates your external beauty.

Poise. Compassion. Grace. And a healthy side of sass (comma, bitches!).

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Thank you to TWA and Bottomless Closet for having me last week. Want to know my own personal take-away that goes beyond beauty? Whether it’s a 30-minute speech or life in general, sometimes it’s best to go it unscripted.

mint-colored-pumps

*Wearing: The Limited blazer (40% off with code FASHION), Cynthia Rowley blouse, Express pants (styled here and here). Topshop pumps (similar), BaubleBar necklace | *Beauty: YSL Rogue Volupte lipstick in Rose Opera (#29), NARS blush in Love Joy, Benefit Gimme Brow

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Lydia Hudgens Photography

24 comments

  1. I love that you abandoned your speech and just went with the dialogue from your heart. As a former public speaker, I know this is extremely difficult and courageous-so my hat’s off to you, girl!

  2. Time and time again you write some of my favorite all-around posts. Your voice and style is so simple yet exquisite, and I can always count on great grammatical flow (which is such a plus, you have no idea). While I wouldn’t even mind if you droned on and on, your posts are succinct but descriptive, full of attitude and humor. Love it as always.

  3. You’re awesome. I love how you had the courage to go completely off script and actually engage with these women! I’ve been involved with dress for success in the past and it seems like a very similar cause. Love it!

    I graduated at such a miserable time (2010) and I remember trying desperately to be myself yet fit the corporate mold which is ironically what inspired my blog post today. I’m so thankful that I survived those couple years after school and am now back to my confident self! You’re right, beauty (and style) is definitely more than makeup and clothes.

    xx, jen
    http://www.comfortably-chic.com

  4. Beautiful post Hallie. I’m already terrified of public speaking so I don’t think I would have had the courage to go off script like you did! If there was a recording of your speech, I’d love to hear it because it sounds like it was amazing 🙂

    • Thank you Nnenna! I’m with you — it can be really intimidating to speak in front of people. You just have to take a deep breath and remember that they asked you there for a reason. : )

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  6. Ugh, why can’t I live in NYC so that we can be friends? I love your fashion sense, your writing style and (perhaps most of all) your unrelenting realness despite working in an industry that’s all about the superficial. Kudos on being part of such an empowering event.

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  8. Um ya ok… Guess who is now CRYING into her tuna salad? I know this was earlier in the year, but I saw you tweet it and am SO glad I clicked. Speaking at a women’s retreat this weekend (on my usual style/confidence soapbox) and just needed this kick in the pants to wrap up my conclusion with honesty and heart. Thank you SO much for sharing (and re-sharing), sweet friend. 🙂 Love knowing that we’re on the same page - with confidence AND neon-colored shoes! XOXO

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